ATARI TEENAGE RIOT + SHIZUO // DEC 20, 1997

With all due respect to the leather pant-clad Germans who stopped das tourbus in DC on this evening, what made this show great was my complete lack of context. I just turned 17 and this was the first time I was having my hand stamped and let into a club. So I just assumed everything was totally normal.

I figured a lot of bands must have light shows that involve switching on a strobe light for an hour and a half and never turning it off once. And most openers probably have to stop in the middle of a Cramps cover when the management asks them to put their clothes back on. And grown adults doing jump kicks to breakbeats time-stretched past 200+ beats per minute are probably pretty common.

Even hundreds of hand stamps later, this stays the bar for nightclub chaos. A terribly fun night on U Street.

BORIS // JUL 20, 2008

Sorry, I’ve checked three thesaurus websites and can’t come up with a better word:

Outdoor festivals are butt.

Even with the best lineup you can schedule, regular baths in SPF 70, and maximum hydration, you never walk away from a music-oriented branding opportunity re-energized by your love of the arts. So it’s all the more impressive that Japanese metal heroes, Boris make the top-15-all-timer list in full view of the Sears Tower after a day of 90 degree heat and torrential downpours.

I would gladly break out the underline html tag for this whole paragraph to clarify how against-all-odds-great set this was. The poor bastards got to the Tokyo airport and checked all-black uniforms and a smoke machine for a 24 hour flight to a sunny 1PM start. But being true metal professionals, they plugged in the double bass and took several hundred sunburned festivalgoers by the white-gloved hand on a scuzzy sprint through their recent album, “Smile”.

Product positioning as outdoor entertainment be damned. In the parlance of summer 2008, Boris were just too big to fail.

FUGAZI + LUNGFISH // DEC 3, 1998

On a brisk Thursday evening walking across the University of Maryland campus I was weighing options. There were two potential matchups I could attend that evening: Wake Forest vs Maryland or Fugazi + Lungfish vs societal complacency.

On one hand, the Terps were seven games into an undefeated season and ranked second in the nation going into their first conference game. After a complete dismantling of strong UCLA and Pitt squads at the Puerto Rico Shootout, this team looked special.

On the other hand, Fugazi ripped.

Meanwhile, Juco transfer point guard Steve Francis was playing out of his mind. After taking Allegany College undefeated into the National Junior College Tournament, his D1 impact was felt immediately. Perhaps his shining light would attract NBA attention, keeping me from seeing him in a Terrapin uniform past this season.

However, Lungfish also totally ripped.

So did I make the right choice? Well, thanks to the good people of Dischord Records and the Big Ten Network, I was recently able to watch the game and listen to the archived recording of this show on the Fugazi Live Series. Hall of Fame coach Gary Williams took little time to pull his starters after the Terps went ahead by 38. In classic Gary form, he still kept screaming at his backups, quickly sweating through a wool suit on the way to a 97-68 victory.

But then again, Fugazi ripped.

EL-P // JUL 25, 2002

The plan involved a 6-and-a-half-hour round trip from Blacksburg, VA to Chapel Hill, NC after a full day of classes ended. And I’d need to be back in the AM to change clothes and drive an hour to my internship.

Oh did I use the word “plan”? I’m no wordsmith but that doesn’t feel right. Maybe “underdeveloped scheme” would be more accurate?

Doesn’t matter. Short story is a friend and I decided that the tour for Def Jux proprietor El-P’s first album “Fantastic Damage” was worth skipping sleep for a weeknight. Honestly, not even top 10 on the list of things I can’t believe I did in college.

Poor decision-making aside, that night in review:

1) The show turbo-banged.

2) I confidently drove someone else’s stick shift like a boss.

3) No one at the internship complained of my smell.

In all, a successful underdeveloped scheme.

BJÖRK + µ-ZIQ // MAY 15, 1998

May 15, 1998 was the day beautiful and chaotic collided like two metaphorical planets in a Lars Van Trier movie that could have used editing.

Björk’s “Homogenic” and µ-Ziq’s “Lunatic Harness” were recently released career standouts for two of electronic music’s creative standouts. Both albums were somehow tuneful while being uncompromising in their rhythmic experimentation. That evening in the former Capitol Ballroom, melody made nice with mania in a way I’ve yet to see topped.

Maybe once on the L train when a woman next to me started shout singing “Jesus Loves Me” after the doors closed, but that’d be using a loose definition of melody.

WILDERNESS // APR 22, 2006

The winter/spring of 2006 was dark. Emotionally and literally. My creative partner and I moved to Seattle to take a freelance job in a suburban industrial park where we experienced the longest streak of rain in the regions recorded history.

In short: we should not have been listening to Wilderness.

This was a band with parameters. Which is the nice way of saying that much of their output was similar, but they were hyper creative at working inside the lines. It was ominous in instrumentation, tom-focused in the drum patterns, and at times, atonal in the vocals.

That dark and rainy evening at the Crocodile Cafe we were treated to a combination of desolation and rainwater-soaked pant cuffs that is referred to locally as a “regular Saturday in Seattle”.

THE CURE // NOV 30, 1997

The first concert I ever attended ended abruptly during an especially atmospheric rendition of “From The Edge of the Deep Green Sea”. I remember a friend and I were tapped on the shoulder and pulled out of the Patriot Center by our ride, who had bought a ticket to the festivities specifically to hear a cover of “Come on, Eileen” and I think that describes my high school experience pretty well.

Really this whole situation couldn’t have gotten more 1997. Post-grunge radio was flailing trying to find something that would grab listeners (and advertisers) so they were trying anything. Which is how a Washington DC radio station paid The Cure to headline a holiday show with openers like Sugar Ray and Save Ferris. It was hilarious. It was chaos. And I still don’t think I’ve fully gotten the smell of CK One off of me.

CITY OF CATERPILLAR // APR 28, 2001

I kept a paper planner throughout college and recently dug it out of a storage box to see what else was happening on the day I walked into a room with the controlled chaos headlining this poster. I was not disappointed. On April 28th 2001, in a hurried scrawl I found the words “Mini-fridge Pick Up 8:30AM”.

Perfect. I’d totally forgotten that finals week activities included moving out of a dormitory. The thought of boxing up all of my possessions, returning a rented appliance, compiling a design portfolio, and studying for a 300-level French exam in the same weekend is giving me heart palpitations so I’m going to stop thinking about it.

That evening at an infamous Blacksburg residence called Solar Haus, City of Caterpillar was the 4th band on the bill and the only act to bring a traveling light show with them from Richmond, VA. This consisted of a single halogen floor lamp that they switched on before unleashing a brutal sonic assault that would stay with me long after the 10 minute return walk to my dormitory. Arriving at Miles Hall slightly dehydrated and excited for a Gatorade, I opened the door to my horror… no mini-fridge.

BATTLES + PONYTAIL // JUL 3, 2007

At my first full time job in advertising I didn’t take a single day of PTO. It’s dumb, I know. But I wasn’t good at it yet and I needed every hour available to make up for that. One time I did 85 hours in a week and a lady in finance straight up told me that they didn’t believe me. I wish, Cindy. I wish.

But that meant every night before a day off was a rush of dopamine and relief. So on July 3rd, 2007 when Battles and Ponytail played a top ten all-timer, they were getting me on a good night. There in the basement of a motor lodge I’d hear early-but-joyous versions of tracks off the yet to be released “Ice Cream Spiritual” and an original Battles line-up including Tyondai Braxton.

So good I nearly forgot to go back to work. I’m kidding. Or am I? I am. Questionnn marrrk?